Back at the end of the rope

Well, things were putting along rather well, all things considered. True, we had to "eat" the debt snowball, but the new contract hubby signed was more generous than the last, leaving us with a smaller shortfall each month than before. I've been getting numerous assignments, and although several all-nighters have had to be performed to meet deadlines, the cash was handy. We still don't have enough to get new clothes for the kids (and by new I mean Goodwill, not new new.) But, the mortgage is paid and there's food on the table. Hubby's been working 16 hour days, 8 hours on the book that pays the bills, then another 6 hours at night on assignments that have paid the property tax and other once-yearly expenses. We're all pretty wiped out, and most of us are ill. But we're hanging in there. I'd set aside a little money in a savings account for taxes, but didn't anticipate we'd have a big tax bill. After all, in past years, we've always had a good-sized refund.

We did the taxes this weekend and I am swinging between anger and depression. We didn't really think about being "self-employed" when hubby got laid off. We just scrambled for cash. We are still just scrambling. We're sending out resumes constantly, but there are no jobs. It's not like we've started a business, we're just trying to keep the kids fed and stay out of foreclosure.

The IRS doesn't see it that way, unfortunately. They see us as self-employed, and want to charge us a hefty penalty because we can't find employment. Here I thought I was doing a good thing, staying off public assistance. But we'd probably be better off if we were.

The final numbers look like this:

We had $20,000 in taxable income
We owe $6,000 in tax

How is that even possible??? The measly little chunk I set aside is not even going to put a dent in that bill. And we're already late with the first quarter's payment for 2010. We could sell the car and walk every day to the grocery store, forget about church and send David packing the four miles to his work everyday. That would take care of about a fourth of what we owe. We could sell the house, but that wouldn't help because I found out last month we're upside-down in the mortgage (meaning we owe more than the house is worth.)

I'm just beside myself. I am so very angry that I didn't remember the "self-employment tax," that we were so woefully unprepared for this, that we've been scrambling so hard and so fast to wind up so far behind. I'm so terrified about what's going to happen next. I'd rather be dealing with the mafia than the IRS. I don't see any way out of this mess and the hopelessness is dragging me into a very unhappy place.

Yup, we got it.

Well, at least the last 19 days of quarantine haven't gone to waste. The two littles did come down with chicken pox. No sign of it on anyone else, so I'm thinking that it's the "regular" kind and not a "superbug."

I gathered up all the loose change in the house for grocery shopping. I was able to plan meals for three days for $50. I'm thinking surely something will shake loose by then. Right?

Updates

Okay, well, it's been a really interesting month so far. My toe/foot is still very, very painful. I can be up and around for about 20 minutes before I MUST sit, though, so things are starting to get done again.

Hubby went to the doctor to get refills on all his prescriptions. Without insurance, just walking into the doctor's office cost $120. He's down to four Rxs now, and thankfully, the expensive one has gone generic, so instead of $500, it's "only" $300. Yowza. We can't even afford to pick them up, so I have no idea how he is going to get through the next 1o days of no sleep.

Several other unusual payments have come due this month, and with 13 days left in the month, our bank balance zeroed out. We gathered up all the money we were given for Christmas (thanks, Mom!) and deposited it, so at least we're not in the red. But I have no idea at all what we are going to do for food and gasoline for almost 2 weeks.

February is going to be even worse. In February, our property taxes (of $1000) come due. We also have several other major expenses that put our budget out of whack by more than $2500. I can't wait to see what God does to rescue us from this annual pit. Yeah, sure, it'd be real good to set money aside all year for the February pit, wouldn't it? Sure, if there were no such thing as car breakdowns, sudden medical costs, and the like.

I've asked for all the hours I can work, which means bad food, unattended kids (no, not really, we both work at home so they aren't unattended, just not as attended as they usually are) and stress. Yuck. But I'm thankful for the hours that will bring in a teensy bit of money. It's not enough for groceries even (nope, not even beans and rice three meals a day) but it's something.

Then there's chicken pox. When the Christmas break was over and the public school kids were ready to go back, we had a snow "storm" (half an inch) that cancelled school for three days. My two youngest got to play with a friend they haven't seen in a year. She's just been through a divorce and there's no time for friends anymore. Three days later, we get a call: she's got chicken pox and my girls have been exposed. Oh, and the little girl had been immunized, so we have a 50/50 chance that the variation we have is beyond our immunity.

Back in October, my mother in law and I began planning a big surprise birthday party for hubby. He turns 50 this year and LOVES parties. This would be his first since our marriage. Of course, with a pending plague in the house, we had to cancel the party. And the plane tickets his brothers bought to fly out. And his mother's plans. And, and, and...

Oy.

I've been kind of low the last couple weeks. I'm sure glad it costs nothing to lay in bed because that's just about all I'm interested in doing right now.

Whew, that was a long climb...

It's been a long climb back up out of the pit I fell into. But I'm back-ish. Blair is home, summer is over, the new school year is well under way, the Thanksgiving bird is eaten and Christmas is approaching much, much faster than I had hoped.

Part of what's been keeping me so busy is my new blog: Local Nourishment. I'll link to it from here, but I won't link back from there to here. Too much personal info here for the general audience I'm hooked up with over there. It kinda grew out of a dietary experiment and has become a fascinating, educating thing.

So, let's see. Where did I leave off? Goodness, but the finances were miserable there for a while! Still no regular "job", and none on the horizon, but we're still hanging in there. Hubby actually just signed a contract with Apologia (you might know them from their amazingly excellent science curriculum.) We finished book one of hubby's worldview series:

and we've started working on book 2. Here's a link to a much better picture and description. It was a lot like being pregnant. Exhaustion, swollen ankles, nausea, headaches, followed by several months of waiting, a final push and an exciting delivery. But, UPS brought this one, not the stork.

That's the biggest news.

Melted Snowball

Well, I had to do it. We've been doing a debt snowball for the last couple years, and at our present rate, would have been debt-free (except mortgage) on September 1, 2010.

I just melted the snowball so we could have some more to live on each month.

Lord, please, I don't want to start using plastic again!

Stimulus package fails to stimulate this citizen

No, we don't qualify for help with our mortgage. Because we've been working hard at freelance jobs, selling what we can, cutting back to make do, and paying our debts each month, we don't qualify for the benefits provided for those in arrears. We don't qualify for the mortgage rate reduction because we have no W-2 for the last two months to prove income, a requirement of the program. The reduction would have reduced our monthly payment by a full fourth while reducing the length of our loan by ten years. We "might" qualify for what our lender called a "governmental loan restructuring modification," words that sound very much like "bankruptcy" to me. We will, of course, check into this option.

But you know what? President Obama ain't our rescuer. We don't need his stimulus package, because we have already qualified for (and are receiving benefits from) a much better stimulus package signed into effect by Jehovah Jireh Himself. So shake your head, roll your eyes, and sigh, but don't worry about us. Instead, rejoice with us that, unlike so many other Americans in grave financial straits, we have a bottomless supply of provision from One who loves us and knows our needs even before we do.

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.

Rejoicing in Philippians 4:19-20 today.

At the rope's end once again

Frustration is boiling up in me again and I need to spout a little. So please, forgive me, close your computer window and don't read on.

The more that happens to me here, the more convinced I am that moving here was a HUGE error. Let's do a quick recap:

1) December 2005: Hired for a job to start up a homeschooling division of a large, stable company, we moved clear across the country, away from a place that felt like home. Interesting note: a year after we moved away, oldest son moved to within a couple hundred miles of where we moved from. Hubby stressed he would need my help, and the help of the whole family to do this new job. That was a selling point: it would bring us together and ease the pain of leaving somewhere we loved.

2) November 2006: The company decided to scrap the idea of a homeschooling line. I was very disappointed as I watched the opportunity for us to work together fly out the window. But, at least hubby was given a job developing a fiction line for the same company. We weren't unemployed, and hubby had a job doing what he has wanted to do for years.

3) July 2008: Less than two years into that job, the company started panicking about the economy and made a series of cutbacks. On the fourth round, we were laid off. We got a fair severance package, which helped take some of the sting out of the sudden, totally unexpected loss. How could it have been unexpected with three rounds of layoffs behind us? What publishing company scraps its entire fiction line?!? That's what they did. Unbelievable (at the time. Of course, since then, many publishing companies have stopped acquisitions altogether, ostensibly putting themselves out of business for the near future.)

4) Hubby immediately had four job possibilities. He went on two interviews in the first three months and both were writing up contracts for him when suddenly the jobs...disappeared. One company had cutbacks itself and decided it can do without that particular job. The other had cutbacks and moved someone in from another place in the company.

5) Aware we couldn't go long without income, Hubby wisely started contacting people for freelance assignments. He secured three, enough to get us through the end of the year; plus one long-term assignment in a field he's never worked before. He was working the phones, the email, the freelance jobs, and all the while, those other two job possibilities were starting to fade.

6) December, 2008 The third job possibility dropped out just before the holidays. That was okay though, we still had one more, and it was someplace closer to "home." Hubby started working on the long-term project.

7) The homes in our neighborhood stopped selling. "Bank Owned" started appearing on the for-sale signs. On our cul-de-sac of 8 homes, 5 now have at least one unemployed adult. The cutbacks in Hubby's industry are so deep and wide, that now there are no jobs in his field, but a glut of unemployed professionals. This glut means more competition in the freelance market, which has now also dried up.

8) Our biggest expenses are: mortgage, food, insurance, in that order. When we left the job, we decided to continue our insurance only for Hubby because of his medical problems, and the kids' teeth. I'm totally uninsured, and the kids have no medical. I fussed and fumed about the "stimulus package" passed by Congress, but then I heard that there is a subsidy for COBRA which might help us afford some minimal medical coverage for the kids. I just heard from HR. The company "allows us to continue health insurance, but as a religious organization, does not subscribe to the COBRA plan." In other words, that'll be $700 a month, thank you very much, no stimulus for you.

9) March 2008: The last job possibility dropped out this week. "That's okay," I rationalized, "because if we had to move again, we would be stuck with two mortgages and no way to unload this house."

10) Hubby is working long hours sitting in an uncomfortable chair that hurts his back, working on a laptop, cooped up in a bedroom all day with bad lighting and a screen that is stressing his eyes, doing a job he was untrained to do. He's doing a wonderful, amazing job, even the people he's working for are very impressed. It's taking him longer to do the job that he ever dreamed, and the money is barely stretching. According to the estimates on paper, we should fall about one month's income short in the next four months.

11) It's not all bad news. Somehow, miraculously, we are surviving. For the next 45 days at least, the mortgage and bills are paid, there's money for groceries, gas in the car and electricity in the house.

But my frustration and anger are building up. I want to whine like a child. I want to go home. I want to cry. I want to hit and kick and scream. I want it to be over. I hate where I'm living. I hate the company that laid us off. I hate this economy and the job market and insurance. I hate money. I hate not having money. I hate that my birthday present to Kate had to be underwear. I hate that my birthday presents to Rose, John, Blair and Christy will also be underwear.

I'm scared. I know God will take care of us because He promised to. And I've been living, breathing and eating that for the last seven months. But the numbers don't work on paper and it's a scary thing to see.

I'm hanging on, Lord, how about a little ray of sunshine?

You're KILLING me here!!

You're killing me here! Or, as Job would say, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him."

We get so close to finding a job. There'll be an interview, paperwork, right up to the signing of the contract, then...

pfffft. Gone. Someone else gets hired, the job gets axed, or the entire company is put on a hiring freeze. It happened again this week.

It's been a tense month. Our severance pay ran out three months ago, and it's been challenging (but satisfying) getting by on freelance pay. But we have several "exceptional" bills that come due at the first of the year: property tax, auto registration, home warranty, to name only 3 of 6. Plus all our family birthdays fall between January and June. We had one child who totally outgrew her underthings and needed new right away. Another tore a hole in the seat of her last pair of jeans. These aren't wants, they are needs. I had just enough in my "business" checking account to cover both, but that money is now gone. Hubby has expressed a desire for me to not continue my business, because the pay is so low (I average about $1 an hour) but I gotta say, $1 an hour is better than $0 an hour.

We have freelance work lined up that will provide living expenses through March 15 now. So, I'm not going to think about this again until March 15. I hope.

We are almost over this round of colds. I'm still low energy, Kate's nose is still red and raw, and Christy's cough isn't gone yet, but we're all on the upswing.

Blair has gone to Atlanta for an Irish Step Dance competition. She's staying with a friend for a couple weeks. We've put her on notice that when she comes back, it's time to get a job. We've been laying low, giving her a year after high school and not pushing her to get a job, but I think it's backfired. She's become disinclined to do even the simplest of chores, surly with her siblings and disrespectful to her dad and I. She does manage to bounce between the phone and computer during her waking hours, where she chats endlessly with her friends. She talks about taking the SAT and getting into college, but doesn't do even the simplest preparatory tasks toward that goal: it's all talk. Perhaps homeschoolers don't need the year off as much as institutionally educated children do.

We are gearing up for our annual Oscar party. The kids have nominated their food choices and are putting together a play. If I can figure out how to do it, I'll get the play posted on YouTube.

And finally, my politcally-motivated rant. There is something for us, personally, in the stimulus package! Apparently, the government is going to step in and help us with our COBRA payments. This is wonderful news, since we really can't afford them. It's awful news because had we known, we'd have covered the kids who, right now, are uninsured. I don't mind being uninsured, I'm pretty low risk. Hubby can not go without insurance because of his medical issues and prescriptions. But the kids being uninsured is very uncomfortable for me. Even so, I hate the idea of the stimulus package. I'm afraid I'm landing squarely with Ron Paul on this issue. I don't like the idea of us spoiled baby boomers pushing our bad economy off 20 years at which point it will collapse, perhaps finally, on our children and grandchildren.

Happy, um, yeah.

So remember I posted that I'm not going to worry about money until the day it runs out? We're two weeks away. I'm wondering if I should start looking for a job now. It's not likely the tax refund will be here by then, and the few bits of cash we are expecting are taking longer than we expected.

Moving on.

We had some yummy food yesterday. We had a turkey salad for lunch with the last of the frozen Thanksgiving turkey, mangoes and a salad dressing I made. The dressing was amazing, so I'm posting it for you.

Lime Ginger Dressing
Run a bunch of washed cilantro leaves through juicer. Peel and run a one-inch knob of ginger followed by a peeled lime. Mix with 3 tablespoons rice vinegar and 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil. Particularly refreshing and warming at the same time.

For dinner we had a skillet gnocchi thing. I browned the gnocchi (yes, it was whole wheat, which made it taste a tad strange) and took it out of the pot. I browned up some olives and garlic in coconut oil, then tossed in a couple cans of cannelini beans, a couple cans of chopped tomatoes, some basil, oregano and marjoram. When it was simmering, I tossed in some spinach and let it simmer down a bit before I put the gnocchi back in. I served it topped with a sprinkle of mozzarella and a sprinkle of parmesan. Out of all that, the only thing I had to put on the shopping list was the gnocchi and spinach. The rest I had in the cupboard and garage. Nice. We had it with a big green salad and Kate made chocolate meringues for dessert.

As for the rest of the news, there isn't any. Still looking for a job, still hanging on, still freelancing. Still trying to stay calm.

Love Dollar Tree, but be careful

With the shrinking economy, I'm looking to save as much as possible wherever possible. Because I maintain a price book, I know when I'm being bamboozled at Costco, Dollar Tree, Walgreens, etc. and when I really am getting a bargain.

During a recent trip, I found some strange toothpaste at Dollar Tree. It had a strange label on it an mentioned Canada. Canada? I asked the manager who said she puts on the shelves what comes in the shipments and doesn't know much more about her products than that. I came home and Googled it, and sure enough, found warnings like this one: Dollar Store Toothpaste

Okay. Now that is disturbing. I guess to save money, perhaps baking soda and salt with a nice hydrogen peroxide rinse after?

It keeps getting more interesting, that's for sure

I don't want to go so far as to say it's getting worse, because I'm sure God has a plan. You DO have a plan, right, Lord? These layoffs and budget cuts have become industry-wide in hubby's business. Every company, even the secular ones, have begun hiring freezes, layoffs and cutbacks. It's kind of intense to see his job market dwindle to even more meager opportunities.

It's not like he can just go be an accountant. His degree is in this field. 20 years of experience are in this field. His contacts are in this field.

We're doing okay right now. We have enough money saved that, barring disaster, we will make it easily until December 15. All the bills will be paid, there'll be food on the table, I don't expect any issues at all getting done what needs to be done. We'll probably even have the roof fixed and put it on the credit card.

And there are freelance jobs available. I guess that's one upside to all the cutbacks. There are so many companies that have reduced their job force to the point that they have to hire the work out to be done by freelancers. This makes my mother angry enough to spit nails. She says it's a great deal for them, not having to pay insurance and benefits. I say it's a pretty good deal for us, putting food on our table and a roof over our heads! Besides, after spending my life moving from one state to another every couple years, it's kinda nice to stay in one place and work for companies all over the US. Even if the South isn't where I'd most like to be, it's probably better than trying to sell a house in this market.

It would be even nicer, though, if we could make up more of the lost income through freelancing than only 50%. Now would be the time for me and Blair to go find a job, I suppose there are places hiring holiday help. But hubby is still adamant that a) I'm needed here, especially while he is working at home and b) I don't belong in retail.

I don't know where I might or might not belong. But I'm willing to do what's necessary.

It gives one pause

My mom had hip replacement surgery a couple weeks ago. It went well, she was up and walking the same day. After three days she went home and was back in the hospital the next day with a pulmonary embolism—a blood clot in her lung. They put her on blood thinners and held her perfectly still until it dissolved and she went home. She went back in the hospital the next day, screaming in pain, with a huge lump of pooled blood (think watermelon-sized) that had collected on her new hip. All the blood thinners and inactivity made the blood rushing to heal that area unable to reabsorb into her bloodstream. Three more days hospitalized for blood infusions. They moved her yesterday to a rehab center where the physical and occupational therapists can work with her every two hours.

On Monday my sister goes in for spinal surgery. She has a herniated disk between L4 and L5 that is drooping into her spinal column. She already has numbness and a foot that doesn't move right when she walks.

Today is my family's first day without health insurance of any kind. We are considering extending hubby's insurance with COBRA payments, even though that will eat up 80% of what he makes freelancing, and possibly leaving the kids and I uninsured. The other option would be a $10,000 deductible plan for the kids and I, but even that would consume half of the remaining 20% after the COBRA payment. Right now, hubby is the only one who takes prescriptions and visits the doctor regularly. The kids and I have most of our issues handled with diet and lifestyle.

But one never knows, does one?

Price of food

I am the kind of uninspired cook that has to have a recipe. Blair can go into the kitchen at 5 and "whip something up," but I've never had that gift. I am also the type who beats herself up about the amount of money we spend on food. There are seven of us, which includes three teenagers, so I never expected feeding us to be a low-cost venture. But I always feel bad if I leave the store spending more than the "$100 a week" some of those other big families out there spend (like I believe them anyway.)

I can spend as little as $250 to feed us for a week. It won't be pretty, though. We're talking the Standard American Diet here, which is sad indeed. Cold cereal, PB&J, frozen entrees bought on a BOGO, chips and chocolate. *barf*

Or, I can spend $350 a week and feed us well. Leafy greens, colorful veggies, lots of beans and a smattering of meat. I know that figure shocks some of you, it shocks me, too. And lest you think I'm buying "goodies," here's this week's breakdown:

Bread: $21.44 (7%)
Canned goods: $16.70 (5%)
Dairy: $30.84 (9%)
Dried Fruit and Nuts: $9.47 (3%)
Frozen: $1.79 (less than 1%)
Grains: $8.97 (3%)
Meats: $42.66 (13%)
Paper: $17.34 (5%)
Treats (crackers, a jar of nutella and a jar of PB): $12 (4%)
Produce: $161.48 (50%)

That $323 will last us close to, but not quite a week. Yeah, I could (and do!) make my own bread. The bread listed here is weird stuff like bagels and tortillas. One of our less expensive snacks is quesadillas with just a tortilla and cheese, but I can't make my own tortillas well enough. And one bagel with a topping is a whole meal. Canned goods includes canned beans and tomato products. I could (and do!) make beans from dried, but canned is an important shortcut for me when time is short. $31 for dairy might seem a bit low for a family with growing children and high for a family with allergies. That total includes soy milk for Papa and lactose-free for Blair. The dried fruits and nuts aren't a weekly expense, but this week we're having a couple dishes that include them. They go a long way and have a good shelf life, so leftovers won't go to waste.

A package of corn is all I got from the freezer section. If we want ice cream or popsicles we'll make it ourselves. Grains includes whole grains to mill at home for bread baking, some polenta and a big canister of rolled oats. I went a tiny bit overboard on the meats this week. Although we are only having three meals with meat at all, they are salmon, lamb and chicken. The lamb was just one pound ground, so that's a chunk. The chicken, too, was a chunk and on sale. But, oh, the salmon! $20 is a whole lot less than you'd pay in a restaurant to feed salmon to 7 people, and I really feel strongly about the nutritional advantage of fish, but $20 for one item really chokes me.

I'm not going to begrudge the kids for asking for crackers and nutella. We're not drinking sodas or juice, and after a week of kale and collards they'll need something yummy. I'm not going to fuss about several boxes of Kleenex when we have runny noses or the cost of toilet paper. It is what it is.

But $161 for produce?!? Yikes! That really hurts! And the individual prices hurt, too. $2.50 for a head of romaine. One tomato for $2.59. One bell pepper for $2.09. That's just wrong. How am I supposed to push fruits and veggies if they are so outrageously priced?

And how, exactly do those other large families get out of the store for $100 a week? I can only assume they're eating the SAD. Our allergies pose a problem in that so many processed foods have corn and casein and other things we can't have. But really, do they just not eat tomatoes? Ever? No salads? What? How do they do it?

I was so spoiled by our CSA program. It was a challenge coming up with ways to serve what I got before it went bad, and I'll confess, the radishes, okra and one of the eggplants went to the neighbors. But paying up front for it made it seem like it was "free food" and that made it a lot easier to swallow than buying at grocery store prices weekly.

I need to figure something out for sure, because when we eat well, our food budget surpasses our mortgage payment.

Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.

It's October. The severance pay runs out this month. We have no job offers, no interviews, no bites. I just did a "bare bones analysis" of our finances. To keep our house, food on the table and the electricity on, we need $5000 a month after taxes. To keep the prescriptions running, keep braces on the kid who is already braced, payments current on the dentist bill and hubby's back in line, we need another $1200 a month which includes the cost of insurance. No insurance? $2400 a month.

Those totals mean:
no TV ("free" TV isn't available here)
no Netflix (we're already on the lowest-priced plan)
no internet (this would be nearly impossible, the three jobs hubby and I are working right now absolutely depend on internet access)
one tank of gas a week (we are using two tanks a week right now)
the lowest cost phone plan (we switched over to this on October 1)
turning OFF the AC and heat (we turned off the AC on September 20, despite several 90 degree days since. Heat will eventually be more important.)
turning off the cell phone (we switched to pay-as-you-go on August 1 and have turned off the phone already)
handwashing dishes with water heated on the stove (I'm hesitant to do that because each time we've tried it in the past we have contracted viruses that hang around for months)
hanging laundry out to dry (I prefer air-dried clothes, but hubby is adamant. He even told me he thought it was illegal in this state to erect clotheslines. What a joker.)
no Christmas gifts (this will hurt. It's been a scary, hard time for the kids already. Compounding it with the thought of no gifts might push several of us—okay, ME—over the edge.)
two meals a day and beans and rice three times a week (eh, we'd probably be healthier for it. But the thought of having hungry children makes me very, very sad.)

We are talking seriously bare bones. And I can do it, I've done it in the past and I can do it again. I'm not complaining.

I'm panicking.

Because even if we turn off and get down to the bare-bones-level, there still needs to be $6200-7400 a month after taxes coming in as of November 1. I can make probably $1400 a month working outside the home, tops. Hubby's bringing in about $2500 a month with freelance work. My two little work-at-home jobs bring in about $400 a month, but if I work outside the home, one of those will have to end. We could send Blair to work, and she could probably make another $1400 which would bring us within shooting distance of our rock-bottom goal. But if we two are at work all day, we will both need clothes, and who would cook? Clean? Homeschool?

Okay. There. I've panicked and now I need to be done and move on.

I work this into my schedule every so often. Just panic, get it over with and move on. Admittedly, it's going to be harder to move on from now on because, after all, it's October.

No such thing as a free lunch

John came home from school (he's our only one in public school, the rest are homeschooled) last week and presented us an application for "reduced cost lunch." A sudden wave of guilt swept over me. Do we really qualify for public assistance? After reading the form, yes, our income not only qualifies for reduced cost, we qualify for free breakfast and lunch.

I guess it's comforting to know that if our income doesn't pick up, we can send the youngest four to public school for two free meals a day. I could work, hubby could freelance at home, Blair could get a job, or better yet, stay home and do the housework. I was wondering how hubby would juggle trying to do his freelance work AND school the kids.

Not that I'm rushing to register them. The Lord called us to homeschool and I believe we are to continue doing that until He says otherwise. But, I imagine not being able to feed the kids would be "otherwise."

Oh, Lord, now would be a great time for that job you're sending hubby.