Hubby's due for another smackin'

You know, I don't ask much. For a girl, I'm pretty low maintenance. (And no, I'm not "the worst kind - the high maintenance kind that thinks they're low maintenance," but thank you anyway, Harry.) But by golly, I'm a busy lady, and if there's something you can do that's more easily done by you than by me, then don't be so disrespectful of me that you insist I do it because I'm "home all day" and you "work for a living."

Example: Here's what my schedule looked like the last two days:

6:00AM I'm NOT a morning person, but Christy and I have eye appointments at 8, so it's up-and-at-'em and making breakfast way too early.

7:00AM Typed out Kate and Blair's schedules for the day. They will stay home and sleep in while Rose, Christy, hubby and I go to the eye doctor. John is up and grumping at me.

8:00AM Eye doctor. Christy is still too young for contacts. Bummer, because she only needs correction in one eye. Hubby helps me find a pair of glasses he doesn't mind looking at me wearing and takes off for work while we finish up the appointments.

9:30AM Home, but only momentarily. Blair needs a ride to her nanny job. It's not far and there's a Starbucks on the way. I also grab Kate and bring her along with the rest of us. We have a spelling bee in the car on the way, and everyone is silent while they do their math on the way back.

10:15AM What is THAT!? While filling the car up with gas, I notice there is a slit on the sidewall of the tire! I'm regaled with stories of hubby's trip to the gas station during which he doesn't see a curb and goes up and then down with a slam. The tire isn't losing air or forming a "bubble," so it'll have to wait to be examined by an expert.

10:30AM Kate has an orthodontist appointment. Finally, a bracket is put on a wayward tooth to rein it back in. This is the part of the orthodontia Kate's been waiting for - the part that will make a visible difference.

12:00Noon Home for a quick bowl of soup and Bible devotions. I find some ground turkey lurking in the fridge and fry it up, then refrigerate it. I'm sure something will need ground meat in the next day or two.

1:00PM Blair calls, the 3-year-old girl she is sitting for is showing signs of becoming ill. She calls the mom who cuts short her shopping time and comes home. I do a very quick lunch dishwash and run to pick her up while Kate watches over Rose and Christy.

1:30PM Blair is looking decidedly not good. Tired? Sick? Hard to say. She goes off to take a nap while the rest of us clean the bedrooms, Tuesday's job. But that means she won't be available to do a quick job this afternoon and I'll have to take John after school. I call the school and leave him a message to not take the bus home.

2:45PM Blair is still snoozing, so I leave Kate in charge while I go pick up John. I have packed him a snack and we go clear to the o-t-h-e-r side of town for a quick job. Job takes 10 minutes, travel there and back nearly two hours. Oh, how I dislike city traffic!

4:45PM Blair is up, but grouchy. She calls my cellphone and wants to know what she can make for dinner. I had planned a tortilla soup with refried bean burritos, but know this is probably beyond her patience level, so I ask her to boil some noodles and make a tomato sauce to throw the already-cooked ground turkey into. She handles that, plus makes a lovely salad for dinner.

5:30PM I'm home again, and pacing the floor. I have a job to perform between 5 and 8PM, but hubby's late getting home. He's not at the office and his cellphone is turned off. I can't reach him to ask him to get home as soon as possible. I ask Blair if she can keep an eye on the kids while I run out, but she says "Only if you lock John in his room." Clearly they're not getting along well. John will NOT stand for that, so I wait for hubby.

6:00PM Still waiting.

6:30PM Still waiting.

7:00PM If I don't leave now I won't get the job done before 8PM, so I ask John to please come with me. He does NOT want to come. I do NOT give him a choice.

7:10PM As I'm driving out, hubby drives in. John leaps from the car to go back inside and I ask hubby about the tire. "Oooh, you'd better have that looked at tomorrow!" he says. Tomorrow is my day off. Off. As in laundry, school and chores, but no running hither and yon at all hours. I am late so I run out and complete the job by 8. Barely.

8:45PM Home. Collapsing on the couch, promptly followed by collapsing on the bed and snoring before I even get my glasses taken off. zzzzzzzzzz

7:00AM Why am I being shaken awake on my day off? What do you MEAN you missed the bus?!? Ask your father for a ride in - he has to leave about that time anyway. No? Okay. I'm up. Grumble grumble.

7:45AM Home from the school run and ready to enjoy my leisurely day of laundry, cooking, school, chores, making menus and shopping lists for the next 7 days and other relaxing hobbies. I ask hubby if he wouldn't mind taking the van to work today and dropping it off at that Firestone just up the street from his office so they can fix the tire while he's at work. No? Even though it means I have to take all the kids and sit in the Firestone's waiting room for who-knows-how-long when you could just drop it off and walk a block? No? Even though it was YOU who wrecked the darned tire? NO? Fine. Yeah, you have a nice day, too.

I spent three hours at Firestone between taking and picking up Blair. On my day "off." Tomorrow I'm scheduled again from 8 to 8. But at least the car is safe. I need a nap.

Where's my rolling pin? I have a man to chase and threaten.

Other "beg offs" this week: All the birthday shopping for Kate has fallen to me. When it was time to take his mother's car in for an oil change, I spent two hours at Walmart waiting for it. His dry cleaning needed picking up (even though they are open 6AM to 10PM, he couldn't manage to get there to do it personally.)

It wouldn't be such a big deal, except that I'm working crazy hours, dealing with five children that require homeschooling (and attention!) and am expected to spend my day off doing things that are more convenient for him to accomplish than me. And I have one child who can't be left home alone or in charge of others!

But I don't want to complain. Any more. I think I got it off my chest now. Thanks.