If I lived alone

If I lived alone...

I'd make macaroni salad.
I'd shower every single day.
I'd open the windows first thing in the morning.
my toothbrush would never mysteriously disappear.
all my thoughts would be thought through to completion.
there'd be grass on the ground in Animal Crossing: City Folk.
there would be entire weeks where the TV never got turned on.
the good scissors would always be in the pencil box on my desk.
I'd sleep 9 hours every night in complete darkness and total silence.
the car seat and mirrors would always be adjusted to my preferences.
I'd pick up the house on the way to bed so I'd wake up to a clean house.
the toilet paper would never run out without a replacement in the closet.
there'd never be leftover undone dishes in the sink or laundry in the dryer.
I'd never open the refrigerator to find the cereal box, or the cupboard to find the milk bottle.


If I lived alone...

the stress from working to support myself AND keep up a house would make me insane.
the silence would accentuate the ringing in my ears, worsening my insanity.
I'd go entire weeks without laughing, good, hard, belly laughs.
no one would ask me if I'd like another cup of coffee.
I'd probably forget how to speak entirely.
I'd eat standing at the kitchen counter.
I'd be lonely.